Eldritch Stuff.

The following post is rated NSFW: Not Safe For Work.

As I’m sure some of you know, especially if you’ve been to the “Profiles.” page, I like doing surveys on Xanga.

I was doing one the other day and I got hit with this little number:

Question: Go to www.urbandictionary.com and find a definition for your first name.

Well, okay. Sure. I’ve been to Urban Dictionary a few times. This shouldn’t be too painful, right?
Here’s what I found as supposed ‘definitions’ of the name “Logan”…

1. A unisex name, generally male however, of Scottish origin. It means “little hollow.”
Yeah, that’s about right.
Generally a man of great character, possessed of a fabulous sexual magnetism. Courageous, your quintessential knight-in-shining armor type.
Example: “Logan is the perfect boyfriend.”
…Wait, what?

2. The hottest guy alive.
The kind of guy that will rock YOUR world.
…LOL?

3. the sexiest man in the world!
Wait. Is it just Me or is there a trend here?

4. Cutest boy alive. The hopeless romantic type. Takes you for long walks on the beach, and slips cute little notes into your back pocket when he hugs you goodbye. No other boy like him, and he’s got some amazing eyes.
There is now a twitch in My left eye…

5. A creature lurking around somewhere in the Romanian countryside. Logan is a sexlicious man-beast.
Logan has wings made of chocolate.
I’m now contemplating suicide.

And now for the money shot:

6. An eponym: the SI unit for measuring penis (1 Logan= pi inches of penis). The original Logan was a member of the Harvard Glee Club sometime in the mid-90s.
…
I…
I have no idea what to say about that. None.

Essentially, UD provided Me with a good source of entertainment for five minutes. You don’t want to know what happens when I brought that last definition into real life with Me… I still haven’t lived it down.

I’m working on finding material for the next post. If I don’t post tomorrow or even the day after, it’s not because I’ve abandoned the project. I just don’t want to bore people with trite material. Remember, suggestions are always welcome.

Tags: internet

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